Understanding what this is all about...

I feel that at this moment that my head is currently sufficiently clear to write about what is bugging me. It wasn't so clear yesterday. I am thinking in the easy case, time will just help us ease through things. I could get used to you, you could get used to me. Maybe. Just maybe, we could get used to each other. In the hard scenario, there would be tempers flaring. I will not flare up, I will internalize it. It's bad, but I don't know of any other ways of having an outlet other than exploding. I look very ugly when I explode. I don't want you ever to see me like that. I guess, the main problem, is with me. I think I demand attention, I don't call out for it but I expect it. I guess you would not know what this because you have not experienced it before. But it sure will not look like the novels. The nice sweet part will last, maybe 1 month, then what? I don't really have the energy to pull through this, I guess, it's up to you.

How it turns out is as good as anybody's guess. I appreciate what you said about love but these are the same words as I had heard in the past. Somehow, knowledge of that does not give me much comfort. I try so hard to shield myself from further hurt but you convinced me to take the same step again. I am scared, and at the same time, very tempted. So, in the meantime, I will just pray that some good will come out of it. I have already been scarred, but I don't want you to go through what I go through. Ever.