Running on a near empty tank

I never blog without feeling in an extreme mood. Most of the time, in a low mood. I did it again. I turned green, without much thought. It was just instinctive. A feeling of inadequacy. I could not control it as usual. To my credit, I think I have tried real hard for this case. Real hard just wasn't good enough. Will she ever change? I hope she will, I really hope so. Once again, the greatest happiness comes from her. The greatest sadness is also attributed to her. I could have said a thousand and one unpleasant sounding things which would hurt her but I guess it would be useless. She is so naive. Her mind works in really simple ways. And she craves for attention. I have no idea what to do with that. Maybe, I will slowly turn mad. But it is also my fault. It was me who fell in love first. Who knows? Right now, will she be partying, drinking, hugging others? Someone help me regain my senses.