Rehabilitation

I will not harp on about finding peace but I do have thoughts about recovery. After the aftermath of any major fallout, there is bound to be serious (and maybe permanent) damage. Earthquakes shatter houses, tornados sweep away everything in its path, fires raze forests and breakups empty hearts. When it all ended, did I feel a tinge of regret? Definitely. I thought that this WAS it. Now, it is clearly shown to be otherwise. Why did I choose this path? Circumstance, 'the right thing to do', prospect. Even as it happened, I must admit that the events affected me far more than I would have liked. It leaves a bitter taste. Erased my memories. Made me now a very untrusting person. Left me hollow. These symptoms, I keep reminding myself, are the inital symptoms of such a fallout. I should snap out of it. I hope. In order to snap out of it, I have to get on the path of recovery. Where does that lead me to? Is it a direct route? Or do I have to go round and round to get to the final destination? I myself should be convinced that this is finally good for me. I must not be wishy-washy and make a clean cut. It will hurt but if I wrap it in plaster, it will heal eventually. But the tumour must come off. Otherwise, it will kill me. Die, old relationship. Just die and go away. Cast your shadow on someone else. Not me. I want my life back. Do not drag me back with images of your pitiful looks, honeyed words, and sorry gestures. I will not fall for it anymore. My mind is hardened. My heart has to follow.